5 Reasons to vote Yes including a polar bear. And The Da Vinci Code.

1. We really have enough problems as it is without getting more by voting No.  I mean, NAMA, An Bord Snip, tax rises, the economy, Jordan single again, and now we want to go and piss on our generous German aunty's apple strudel?

2. The mysterious faceless Coir are against it. Yeah, the "We live in the same house as Youth Defence but we have never met the fella" crowd. Coir: The people who thought Tom Hanks was the baddy in The Da Vinci Code.

3. For the polar bears. We can either have global climate change treaties negotiated by major players like the EU, the Chinese and the US, or we can watch Ringsend go under water. And run out of polar bears. Not in Ringsend, obviously. I mean generally. You can't move for polar bears in Ringsend, all over the place, standing on clear mints and pontificating.

4. It improves the EU in loads of technical ways which you really don't want me to list here. I mean, we'll get them for you if you want, but only if you promise to read them. There'll be a test.

5.  The sky won't fall on our heads if we vote No.  But the rest of Europe will probably respect our decision, believe us, and move on to integrate without us and the Brits. Great, we're effectively back in the UK. Nice one, Mary Lou. See, this is where the No campaign falls apart. They hint that they can stop the rest of Europe moving on. They can't. And anyway, would you really rely on the shinners to negotiate? The one time they were sent in to negotiate with anyone, they went in looking for a united Ireland and came out with a food safety board. Bag of magic beans, anyone?